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Fort Dicks

From 40 member  reviews
Members say: Disappointing, Excruciating, Slow, Banal, Cliched

About the show

Based a true story, this new comic musical explores life in "The Camp," the low-level prison of the famed military installation. More…

This dark social commentary is played like a Marx Brothers movie complete with sight-gags and pratfalls.


Member Reviews (40)

MEMBERS SAY:

Disappointing, Excruciating, Slow, Banal, Cliched

25
Disappointing, Excruciating, Indulgent

See it if You know someone in the play. You really love community theater and sophomoric humor.

Don't see it if You don't know anyone in the play. You have anything better to do.

19
Slow, Insipid, Excruciating, Banal, Cliched

See it if You know someone in the show. You like shows that are sophisticated versions of what you did in you basement as a child.

Don't see it if You have an aversion to amateurish and sophmoric productions. Bathroom humor is rife from the title on to the end.

20
Intolerable, Pointless, Vanity production, Excruciating, Glacially paced

See it if Don't ... there seem to be no saving graces to this production other than a few voices that sing on pitch & can be heard

Don't see it if You have anywhere else 2 be, cannot tolerate barely constructed script, borrowing songs from other sources, total lack of direction /pacing

Also Show-Score should have some kind gatekeeper evaluation system to guard... Read more Read less

25
Once in a lifetime 3hr live theater all-time wtf event nobody will ever believe you actually experienced.

See it if you need to bank an unbelievable live theatre tale for your grandkids. 'Springtime for Hitler' from "The Producers" wasn't so bad after all.

Don't see it if you're not into once-in-a-lifetime experiences. EVERYONE has to see this mess to believe it was ever actually mounted on a live stage.

Also Opening-scene: "Entire jury quit due to swine-flu".... Read more Read less

2
Banal, Slow, Boring, Disappointing, Excruciating

See it if Someone you really love is in it.

Don't see it if You don't appreciate terribly boring shows. You don't like bad singing and acting. Etc.

1
So-bad-it's-good, Confounding, Once-in-a-lifetime, Offensive, Hackneyed

See it if You enjoy so-bad-it's-good comedy à la The Room. This is the worst musical I have seen to date. And there's not a close second.

Don't see it if You have no patience for cringe-worthy shows. You dislike, as I do, when musicals use tracks rather than live accompaniment.

Also "I have a very good comedic mind." -Jeffrey E. Milstein, YouTube inter... Read more Read less

18
Cliched, Excruciating, Insipid, Slow, Sophomoric

See it if You know someone in the show and want to see them. You enjoy middle school-level story/jokes/music/lyrics.

Don't see it if You want anything higher level than middle school quality. Pre-teens with a little talent could have done a better job.

14
Banal, Cliched, Disappointing, Dizzying, Excruciating

See it if You know the cast.. i am sorry to say it, but it was the worst I have ever seen. I left after an hour cause it was excrutiating.

Don't see it if If you have high standards for theater.

Also I feel bad for the cast and crew (and there were so many of them), I c... Read more Read less

3
Overrated, Disappointing, Horrorific, Moronic, Terrible

See it if you want to see a work inspired by the comedy of Mel Brooks, Neil Simon and Carl Reiner.

Don't see it if you don't have heart beats and breaths to waste. This was utterly unacceptable to be seen on the island of Manhattan.

Also The show director and writer should stick to his accounting practice i... Read more Read less

10
Disappointing, Insipid, Excruciating, Unfunny, Amateurish

See it if you love a cast member.

Don't see it if you can possibly avoid it.

Also I'm so sorry - I wish I could say something positive about this show. ... Read more Read less

10
Disappointing, Excruciating, Amaturish, Stupid

See it if You want to watch a very poorly scripted show that was stupid and not the least bit funny. Luckily today is the last show.

Don't see it if You're expecting a Mel Brooks or Marx Brothers type production - it wasn't. It was insulting to them to compare this show to them.

25
Disappointing, Banal, Cliched, Dated, Slow

See it if you don't mind a comedy with less laugh and a musical with less impressive songs.

Don't see it if you expect a lot of laugh and good music. Somehow songs start when you forget it's a musical. Too long because of many unnecessary scenes.

5
Confusing, Disappointing, Insipid, Slow

See it if You like to see tragedy on a stage, I find it hard to think that no one said STOP.

Don't see it if You like well thought out theater

15
Disappointing, Banal, Excruciating, Terrible

See it if you are homeless and need to get out of the weather for a couple of hours

Don't see it if have any appreciation for good theater. This was one of the worst!! Missed lines, tone deaf singing and just a mess.

Also I honestly think there should be better screening for a play to be par... Read more Read less

0
Banal, Excruciating, Slow

See it if You’re friends with someone in the show

Don't see it if You care about plot, character, humor, racial sensitivity, or wasting time and money

Also Much of the audience walked out after the first act, including my boyf... Read more Read less

5
Disappointing, Dizzying, Excruciating, Indulgent, Worst

See it if You know someone in the cast.

Don't see it if You have a sense of humor or a brain.

15
Banal, Disappointing, Excruciating, Insipid

See it if You know someone in the cast.

Don't see it if You can see pretty much anything else.

8
Cliched, Insipid, Bad acting, Purposeless

See it if the mother of all thunderstorms crashed down while you're standing in front of the theater and you want a dry place - the seats were nice.

Don't see it if you like entertainment, you like a story, you don't think something is funny just because it's cheesy, loud, and mean-spirited.

5
Confusing, Disappointing, Slow, Banal

See it if you really want to see something so awful it's funny to you

Don't see it if you want to be entertained

Also An actual insult to everything they ripped off material from. literall... Read more Read less

12
Disappointing, Excruciating, Overrated, Slow

See it if If you know someone in the play

Don't see it if You love theater You have good hearing because, except for 1 or two actors, the singing was unbearable

25
Excruciating, Raunchy, Cliched

See it if If you like very, very low humor and old cliched jokes and bathroom humor you, just might be amused.

Don't see it if If you expect "noises off",the "play that goes wrong" you are in the wrong place. Offended by off-color and politically incorrect humor.

22
Disappointing, Excruciating

See it if You want to play a prank on someoen

Don't see it if I hate to give such a bad review but the show was awful and we left halfway through

15
Banal, Excruciating, Insipid, Disappointing

See it if You want to be insulted and want to waste your time. It's totally moronic.

Don't see it if You don't want to waste your time.

5
Confusing, Disappointing

See it if You should see this show if, you know someone in the cast. If you Can’t take your eyes off a deadly car wrench.

Don't see it if Just don’t. Just don’t see this show.

8
Banal, Cliched, Dated, Disappointing

See it if You enjoy torturing yourself with horrible music, flubbed lines, off key singing inside of a mental institution.

Don't see it if You have anything better to do including chemotherapy. I would rather have my wisdom teeth taken out.

Also This is quite possibly the worst show I've ever seen in my life. There... Read more Read less


“Fort Dicks” hasn't been reviewed by any Critics (yet!)

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