Already closed | 2h 0m | Midtown W

Fort Dicks

From 40 member  reviews
Members say: Disappointing, Excruciating, Slow, Banal, Cliched

About the show

Based a true story, this new comic musical explores life in "The Camp," the low-level prison of the famed military installation. More…

This dark social commentary is played like a Marx Brothers movie complete with sight-gags and pratfalls.

Member Reviews (40)


Disappointing, Excruciating, Slow, Banal, Cliched
Avg Score

Disappointing, Excruciating, Indulgent

See it if You know someone in the play. You really love community theater and sophomoric humor.

Don't see it if You don't know anyone in the play. You have anything better to do.

Slow, Insipid, Excruciating, Banal, Cliched

See it if You know someone in the show. You like shows that are sophisticated versions of what you did in you basement as a child.

Don't see it if You have an aversion to amateurish and sophmoric productions. Bathroom humor is rife from the title on to the end.

Intolerable, Pointless, Vanity production, Excruciating, Glacially paced

See it if Don't ... there seem to be no saving graces to this production other than a few voices that sing on pitch & can be heard

Don't see it if You have anywhere else 2 be, cannot tolerate barely constructed script, borrowing songs from other sources, total lack of direction /pacing

Also Show-Score should have some kind gatekeeper evaluation system to guard... Read more Read less

Once in a lifetime 3hr live theater all-time wtf event nobody will ever believe you actually experienced.

See it if you need to bank an unbelievable live theatre tale for your grandkids. 'Springtime for Hitler' from "The Producers" wasn't so bad after all.

Don't see it if you're not into once-in-a-lifetime experiences. EVERYONE has to see this mess to believe it was ever actually mounted on a live stage.

Also Opening-scene: "Entire jury quit due to swine-flu".... Read more Read less

Banal, Slow, Boring, Disappointing, Excruciating

See it if Someone you really love is in it.

Don't see it if You don't appreciate terribly boring shows. You don't like bad singing and acting. Etc.

So-bad-it's-good, Confounding, Once-in-a-lifetime, Offensive, Hackneyed

See it if You enjoy so-bad-it's-good comedy à la The Room. This is the worst musical I have seen to date. And there's not a close second.

Don't see it if You have no patience for cringe-worthy shows. You dislike, as I do, when musicals use tracks rather than live accompaniment.

Also "I have a very good comedic mind." -Jeffrey E. Milstein, YouTube inter... Read more Read less

Cliched, Excruciating, Insipid, Slow, Sophomoric

See it if You know someone in the show and want to see them. You enjoy middle school-level story/jokes/music/lyrics.

Don't see it if You want anything higher level than middle school quality. Pre-teens with a little talent could have done a better job.

Banal, Cliched, Disappointing, Dizzying, Excruciating

See it if You know the cast.. i am sorry to say it, but it was the worst I have ever seen. I left after an hour cause it was excrutiating.

Don't see it if If you have high standards for theater.

Also I feel bad for the cast and crew (and there were so many of them), I c... Read more Read less

Overrated, Disappointing, Horrorific, Moronic, Terrible

See it if you want to see a work inspired by the comedy of Mel Brooks, Neil Simon and Carl Reiner.

Don't see it if you don't have heart beats and breaths to waste. This was utterly unacceptable to be seen on the island of Manhattan.

Also The show director and writer should stick to his accounting practice i... Read more Read less

Slow, Raunchy, Excruciating, Funny, Disappointing

See it if You don't have to worry about seeing it - it just closed

Don't see it if you have better things to do with 2 1/2 hours.

Also It is not all bad. There were some very sharp, satirical bursts of hum... Read more Read less

Cliched, Enchanting, Confusing

See it if you enjoy musicals

Don't see it if you don't like plays about prison motif

Entertaining, Funny, Quirky, Slow

See it if It had it's clever moments that displayed the actors and writers great moments.

Don't see it if You want a show that has a complete story line. It is there, but it is slow.

Disappointing, Insipid, Excruciating, Unfunny, Amateurish

See it if you love a cast member.

Don't see it if you can possibly avoid it.

Also I'm so sorry - I wish I could say something positive about this show. ... Read more Read less

Disappointing, Excruciating, Amaturish, Stupid

See it if You want to watch a very poorly scripted show that was stupid and not the least bit funny. Luckily today is the last show.

Don't see it if You're expecting a Mel Brooks or Marx Brothers type production - it wasn't. It was insulting to them to compare this show to them.

Ambitious, Cliched, Disappointing, Funny

See it if You have a relative performing onstage.

Don't see it if You do not enjoy amateurish acting. The title is misleading, as you may think it is about gays. It is about a prison experience.

Also The songs were well sung, the music was fine, but the score was way un... Read more Read less

Disappointing, Banal, Cliched, Dated, Slow

See it if you don't mind a comedy with less laugh and a musical with less impressive songs.

Don't see it if you expect a lot of laugh and good music. Somehow songs start when you forget it's a musical. Too long because of many unnecessary scenes.

Disappointing, Insipid, Excruciating

See it if You have nothing else to do.

Don't see it if You are from the military because I expected much more seeing how it was tauted to be like BLAZING SADDLES created Mel Brooks.

Confusing, Disappointing, Insipid, Slow

See it if You like to see tragedy on a stage, I find it hard to think that no one said STOP.

Don't see it if You like well thought out theater

Disappointing, Slow

See it if You want to hear some good voices, and don't mind silly plot

Don't see it if You expect well written musical comedy, and lots of laughs

Disappointing, Banal, Excruciating, Terrible

See it if you are homeless and need to get out of the weather for a couple of hours

Don't see it if have any appreciation for good theater. This was one of the worst!! Missed lines, tone deaf singing and just a mess.

Also I honestly think there should be better screening for a play to be par... Read more Read less

Banal, Excruciating, Slow

See it if You’re friends with someone in the show

Don't see it if You care about plot, character, humor, racial sensitivity, or wasting time and money

Also Much of the audience walked out after the first act, including my boyf... Read more Read less

Disappointing, Dizzying, Excruciating, Indulgent, Worst

See it if You know someone in the cast.

Don't see it if You have a sense of humor or a brain.

Banal, Disappointing, Excruciating, Insipid

See it if You know someone in the cast.

Don't see it if You can see pretty much anything else.

Funny, Entertaining

See it if you like a good off broadway funny true story that tells you about the way things are really run in some prisons.

Don't see it if If you don't like documentary type stories about prisons.

Also The actors were funny and made the show entertaining. They worked very... Read more Read less

Cliched, Insipid, Bad acting, Purposeless

See it if the mother of all thunderstorms crashed down while you're standing in front of the theater and you want a dry place - the seats were nice.

Don't see it if you like entertainment, you like a story, you don't think something is funny just because it's cheesy, loud, and mean-spirited.

“Fort Dicks” hasn't been reviewed by any Critics (yet!)

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