The Vanity

See it if you know someone in the show. Otherwise, steer clear. Even Dorian Gray would be screaming, "D'AH F'UH???" if he'd sat through this mess.

Don't see it if it ever comes back. Poorly produced, terribly weak "singing", amateur "acting", silly staging. And these guys are NOT new to this business!

See it if if you need to see the most aptly titled piece of theatre you'll likely ever see.

Don't see it if Just don't. It's very rare to find a production or piece of theatre so thoroughly wrong that it has nothing to recommend it; not a moment or

Also performance or bit of business that can justify enduring the time spent to get to it.

It's unfortunate because jobs are involved & at stake & though the final result would seem to belie the fact, a lot of creative energy was spent and a great amount of thought—however misguided—went into it as well.

But quickly dismissing a show like this is all too easy, & since jibes and sarcasms just pour out and write themselves, restraint allows questions of why & how; it’s unfair to blame the struggling actors.

The biggest question might be: How was this production allowed to get so far? Why did/could no one edit the triple threat writer/composer? The material seems to have been written in stone in some isolated, self-satisfied closet. How & why was it financed & backed?

Good material is out there struggling to get financing, & shows where the only successful moment is the welcoming announcement can eat away at audience support which—tourists aside—the theatre badly needs to maintain.... Read more Read less

See it if you have no knowledge of the story/film, or if someone is paying you large sums to see it, and buying you dinner.

Don't see it if You have anything at all better to do. I must admit I left at the interval. It was intellectual/emotional self-flaggelation.

See it if A twist on the story of Dorian Gray with some funny parts but too confusing

Don't see it if if you are seeking a well developed script and very good music.

See it if like musicals remincent of 'Phantom of the Opera'. I am not sure if this was supposed to be serious or a spoof of this genre.

Don't see it if don't like musicals and fantasy subjects.

See it if you are interested in anything Dorian Gray, liked The Picture of Dorian Gray, and do not mind a confusing story and over the top characters.

Don't see it if you prefer a well developed story and relistic characters.

See it if Like story of Dorian grey. Some parts very humorous

Don't see it if Can't follow complicated story.

See it if you like musicals, and parody

Don't see it if you cannot take a joke

Also It was so much more than I expected. The singing was beautiful,and the direction was great, especially for a small stage.... Read more Read less

See it if you're free and looking for something to watch

Don't see it if you want to watch something perfect

See it if You want to see a actors trying their hardest to make the best of a mediocre script, and music that is less than memorable.

Don't see it if A script that has any actual meaning, which the show tries hard to have. Also, if you like your music to integrate cleanly into the scenes.

See it if you missed the original "Moose Murders," you want to see a train wreck, and you can appreciate a very game Ilene Kristen doing her best.

Don't see it if you can't overlook the problems with the script and the musical arrangements and just have fun

Also As another person said, "Vanity" is an apt name for this production, with music, book and lyrics written by the same person. The cheesy synthesized orchestrations don't help and the underscoring adds to the feeling that this is meant to be high camp. The cast is totally committed -- how do they keep straight faces? -- especially the wonderful Ilene Kristen and Brandon Haagenson, who is a name to watch in the future.
I laughed so hard I was crying. An Irish cabana boy doing a jig in flip flops? Clichéd choreography? Surely this is a spoof. But what is the writer trying to mock? The book is a dramaturgical mess where dates don't track and characters change objectives on a dime. I hear they cut thirty minutes during rehearsals. Thank goodness. Losing another thirty might have given this piece a tension that would move it into Charles Busch territory and be fun for real.... Read more Read less

See it if you want a few laughs uttered by a high Queen. Nothing else is dimly funny nor well written

Don't see it if don't mind wasting time

See it if If you're in the mood for something offbeat

Don't see it if Your idea of cutting edge is Cats

See it if You love vanity productions that should best be left in the drawer

Don't see it if You don't want to be in pain watching horrible acting and singing

See it if You have 2 hours you don't care that you will never get back.

Don't see it if Dialogue, acting, singing are things you care about.

See it if There is no reason to see this show unless you are a spouse or parent of a cast or crew member.

Don't see it if You dislike being trapped for an hour before intermission at a hopeless attempt at a new musical ! I have rarely seen anything so amateurish

See it if If you enjoy over-the-top acting, clever plotting, then attend. Although the parts are better than the whole.

Don't see it if You can't put up with some cliches, somewhat miss-matched music.

See it if You want to see cast trying to overcome a poorly conceived production. The second act was better than the first.

Don't see it if You want to see good theater.

See it if you cannot live without another version of the Dorian Gray story, like campy/broad humor that may or may not be deliberately badly acted.

Don't see it if you are bored easily; don't like campy and/or bad writing & acting, forgettable songs, amateurish production values, waste of time.

See it if You enjoy community theater with bad acting, weird casting (husband appeared 50 years younger than his wife), and cheap sets.

Don't see it if You hate bad recorded music, you'll be disgusted as much as me by the actress in Act I who said she had to barf & made a puking gesture.

See it if You are related to the cast. Repetitious and silly. Fortunately there was an intermission so escape possible- many left.

Don't see it if You like good music, a decent script or intelligent humor.

Also Sad as some of actors had talent and deserve better. The Spirit was particularly good.... Read more Read less

See it if you want to support amazing, talented actors doing a show they're trying really hard to save (producers, to see it and hire them out of it!)

Don't see it if you dislike all-midi orchestra...you don't have the patience for slower-than-understandable ballads (that's all this show has)

Also Honestly, I'm surprised this show has made it as far as it has. I have seen better community theater and non-NY shows than this show that has made it to Theater Row. It seems that it might survive as a play (with several edits to actually add multiple layers to the characters), but as soon as you add the music, you've completely lost me. The songs go so slow that the actors literally sit and wait for the next beat. And the lyrics and rhyme schemes can't keep up with the notes either, making most songs incomprehensible. The actors had some funny moments, and the spirit was cast especially well. I even enjoyed the extras. It's too bad they'll be tied to a show that held them back from what they could be.... Read more Read less

See it if you can enjoy bad theatre when it's That Bad.

Don't see it if you don't like seeing a talented cast trapped performing a jaw-droppongly bad script and score. Think "Noises Off" without the wit.

See it if Great costumes, a lot of funny moments, and a high quality of talent on stage. Fun choreography and staging, amazing cast, beautiful voices

Don't see it if You don't want to hear bad opera music done midi style like it was from an 80's video game. Seriously.

See it if you'd like to see a extremely talented cast traversing a behind-the-scenes high-camp/Hollywood Babylon cautionary tale

Don't see it if you don't like having your fun interrupted by smug, maudlin, low-rent '90s synth music at a pace generously described as lethargic

Also Last month, I saw (and loved!) a truly magical musical called "Tink!" at NYMF, and I was intrigued to see that this show shared the same director (Klein), choreographer (Fusco), and lead actor (David), which is why I went to see it. Unfortunately, all the magic in the world couldn't save this one (which suffers from a variety of inherent structural and musical self-indulgences), but it's often fun to watch them try. Also worthy of mention is Remy Germinario, whose sideline antics in a variety of roles make some of the more ponderous sections actually bearable. Here's hoping the talented cast and crew (who occasionally spin straw into gold) can reunite on a worthier project.... Read more Read less