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The Vanity

From 27 member  reviews
Members say: Excruciating, Funny, Slow, Disappointing, Confusing

About the show

Theatre Row presents this stylized, darkly humorous, musical melodrama inspired by Oscar Wilde's 'The Portrait of Dorian Gray." More…

It's 1947 and Julian Gray, a beautiful but sheltered young Plantation heir, decides to start a new life in Hollywood. He finds himself the object of all sorts of attention when the great director Hilton Wheeler casts him as the lead in a major motion picture. Julian falls in love with Stella, a makeup girl on the set of his first film. But all hell breaks loose when he inherits a mysterious Victorian vanity table, which turns out to be possessed by a powerful demon. Julian is offered the chance to maintain his good looks indefinitely, as long as he agrees to forsake love in favor of hedonistic pleasure.

Member Reviews (27)


Excruciating, Funny, Slow, Disappointing, Confusing
Avg Score

Confusing, Slow, Funny

See it if you are interested in anything Dorian Gray, liked The Picture of Dorian Gray, and do not mind a confusing story and over the top characters.

Don't see it if you prefer a well developed story and relistic characters.

Disappointing, Excruciating, Slow, Tedious, Trite

See it if you have no knowledge of the story/film, or if someone is paying you large sums to see it, and buying you dinner.

Don't see it if You have anything at all better to do. I must admit I left at the interval. It was intellectual/emotional self-flaggelation.

Dated, Amateurish, Cliched, Insipid, Juvenile

See it if you know someone in the show. Otherwise, steer clear. Even Dorian Gray would be screaming, "D'AH F'UH???" if he'd sat through this mess.

Don't see it if it ever comes back. Poorly produced, terribly weak "singing", amateur "acting", silly staging. And these guys are NOT new to this business!

Remarkably bad, Confused, Unrelenting, Excruciating, Disappointing

See it if if you need to see the most aptly titled piece of theatre you'll likely ever see.

Don't see it if Just don't. It's very rare to find a production or piece of theatre so thoroughly wrong that it has nothing to recommend it; not a moment or

Also performance or bit of business that can justify enduring the time spen... Read more Read less


See it if like musicals remincent of 'Phantom of the Opera'. I am not sure if this was supposed to be serious or a spoof of this genre.

Don't see it if don't like musicals and fantasy subjects.

Confusing, Dizzying, Quirky, Ambitious, Slow

See it if Like story of Dorian grey. Some parts very humorous

Don't see it if Can't follow complicated story.

Confusing, Disappointing, Funny, Slow

See it if A twist on the story of Dorian Gray with some funny parts but too confusing

Don't see it if if you are seeking a well developed script and very good music.

Absorbing, Clever, Delightful, Entertaining, Funny

See it if you like musicals, and parody

Don't see it if you cannot take a joke

Also It was so much more than I expected. The singing was beautiful,and the... Read more Read less

Hilariously bad, Excruciating, Confusing, Funny, Dizzying

See it if you missed the original "Moose Murders," you want to see a train wreck, and you can appreciate a very game Ilene Kristen doing her best.

Don't see it if you can't overlook the problems with the script and the musical arrangements and just have fun

Also As another person said, "Vanity" is an apt name for this production, w... Read more Read less

Ambitious, Fluffy, Self-indulgent, Vapid, Unremarkable

See it if You want to see a actors trying their hardest to make the best of a mediocre script, and music that is less than memorable.

Don't see it if A script that has any actual meaning, which the show tries hard to have. Also, if you like your music to integrate cleanly into the scenes.

Cliched, Funny, Entertaining

See it if you're free and looking for something to watch

Don't see it if you want to watch something perfect

Cliched, Insipid, Overrated, Indulgent, Slow

See it if you want a few laughs uttered by a high Queen. Nothing else is dimly funny nor well written

Don't see it if don't mind wasting time

Clever, Great acting, Entertaining, Great singing

See it if If you're in the mood for something offbeat

Don't see it if Your idea of cutting edge is Cats

During previews
Disappointing, Indulgent, Slow

See it if You enjoy community theater with bad acting, weird casting (husband appeared 50 years younger than his wife), and cheap sets.

Don't see it if You hate bad recorded music, you'll be disgusted as much as me by the actress in Act I who said she had to barf & made a puking gesture.

During previews
Disappointing, Excruciating, Insipid, Amateurish, Clunky

See it if There is no reason to see this show unless you are a spouse or parent of a cast or crew member.

Don't see it if You dislike being trapped for an hour before intermission at a hopeless attempt at a new musical ! I have rarely seen anything so amateurish

During previews
Excruciating, Indulgent, Banal

See it if You love vanity productions that should best be left in the drawer

Don't see it if You don't want to be in pain watching horrible acting and singing

During previews
Silly, Insipid, Bad singing, Juvenile, Disappointing

See it if You are related to the cast. Repetitious and silly. Fortunately there was an intermission so escape possible- many left.

Don't see it if You like good music, a decent script or intelligent humor.

Also Sad as some of actors had talent and deserve better. The Spirit was pa... Read more Read less

During previews
Cliched, Clever, Entertaining, Funny, Ambitious

See it if If you enjoy over-the-top acting, clever plotting, then attend. Although the parts are better than the whole.

Don't see it if You can't put up with some cliches, somewhat miss-matched music.

During previews
Disappointing, Excruciating, Insipid, Cliched, Amateurish

See it if you cannot live without another version of the Dorian Gray story, like campy/broad humor that may or may not be deliberately badly acted.

Don't see it if you are bored easily; don't like campy and/or bad writing & acting, forgettable songs, amateurish production values, waste of time.

During previews
Banal, Disappointing, Excruciating, Pitiful, Slow

See it if You want to see cast trying to overcome a poorly conceived production. The second act was better than the first.

Don't see it if You want to see good theater.

During previews
Banal, Confusing, Dizzying, Excruciating, Must see

See it if you can enjoy bad theatre when it's That Bad.

Don't see it if you don't like seeing a talented cast trapped performing a jaw-droppongly bad script and score. Think "Noises Off" without the wit.

During previews
Disappointing, Banal, Dated, Excruciating, Dizzying

See it if You have 2 hours you don't care that you will never get back.

Don't see it if Dialogue, acting, singing are things you care about.

During previews
Slow, Excruciating, Great acting, Dated, Quirky

See it if you want to support amazing, talented actors doing a show they're trying really hard to save (producers, to see it and hire them out of it!)

Don't see it if you dislike all-midi don't have the patience for slower-than-understandable ballads (that's all this show has)

Also Honestly, I'm surprised this show has made it as far as it has. I have... Read more Read less

During previews
Fluffy, Quirky, Great staging, Great acting

See it if Great costumes, a lot of funny moments, and a high quality of talent on stage. Fun choreography and staging, amazing cast, beautiful voices

Don't see it if You don't want to hear bad opera music done midi style like it was from an 80's video game. Seriously.

During previews
Funny, Great acting, Indulgent, Slow, Romantic

See it if you'd like to see a extremely talented cast traversing a behind-the-scenes high-camp/Hollywood Babylon cautionary tale

Don't see it if you don't like having your fun interrupted by smug, maudlin, low-rent '90s synth music at a pace generously described as lethargic

Also Last month, I saw (and loved!) a truly magical musical called "Tink!" ... Read more Read less

“The Vanity” hasn't been reviewed by any Critics (yet!)

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