1. Everything is a quote.
It’s only one day more to the five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minute anniversary of closing night.
2. Two words: gaff tape.
Or, pure magic. Gaff tape beats duct tape every time.
3. Thank you, five!
4. Cheating is good.
5. What comes after eight?
6. Original Broadway Cast Recording for the premiere, or the revival?
Whichever it is, you have OPINIONS.
7. You’re wearing all black for something other than a funeral.
And after staying in a windowless theater all day, the vampire effect is only enhanced.
8. But let’s be real—that utility belt sometimes makes you feel like Batman.
Gaff tape? Check. Sharpies? Check. Toolkit? Check. BRB, Gotham needs me.
9. Don’t even THINK of eating any kind of dairy during tech week.
10. Seize your napportunities.
11. Are you a musical person, or a straight play person?
Or are you loyal to both?
12. You talk to yourself in public, constantly.
Running lines, obviously. And the occasional internal monologue.
13. And you hum. Constantly.
Your friends have probably threatened to kill you, unless…
14. Your friends all harmonize.
Let’s be real, y’all KILL at karaoke.
15. You collect weird facts.
You know exactly what kind of sleeves 18th century upper-class English women wore, how to build a fifteen-foot-tall plant puppet, and more about American history, pre-WWII Germany, pre-WWII Austria, and major American cities in the 1920s than anyone really needs to know.
16. Your body clock is messed up.
You only really wake up at 6pm—that’s when the real work starts.
17. Your heroes are the opposite of unsung—but it doesn’t always feel like that.
You obviously worship at the altar of Audra McDonald, so you wanna scream when someone says, 'Who?'
18. Anything goes at the cast party.
SNL nailed it, tbh.
19. You hate drama, but you love drama.
And we're not talkin' about the kind that happens onstage.
20. Your makeup game is on point.
No matter the look, no matter the gender identity, your eyeliner game is unmatched.
21. You’re not afraid to go big.
Once you’ve gone to Starbucks in your show makeup, big looks aren’t even an issue. And once you’ve tripped and knocked over half the chorus in the middle of the opening number in front of a full house, nothing can scare you. Seriously. Nothing.
22. Up is down and left is right and—
23. If you own the cast recording, you’ve cried at the end of it.
Seriously, the opening notes of the overture is enough to set you off.
24. Opening night was the best thing that ever happened to you.
Also, the craziest.
25. And closing night was the worst.
It doesn’t matter if you’re literally going to get up and see the entire cast the next morning—it will never be the same.
26. You could fairly describe every show you’ve ever done as “literally traumatizing” and “gave me a reason to live” in the same breath.
You have been changed… for good.
- What are some of your favorite things about being a theater kid, past or present? Share in the comments below!