26 Things Only Theater Kids Will Understand

Show-Score | By Thea Rodgers | Nov 11, 2016

"I can’t, I have rehearsal."

1. Everything is a quote.


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It’s only one day more to the five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minute anniversary of closing night.



2. Two words: gaff tape.


(shop.gaffgun.com)

Or, pure magic. Gaff tape beats duct tape every time.



3. Thank you, five!


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Five minutes to curtain, or five minutes 'til you have to leave the house—it’s a reflex.



4. Cheating is good.


(diaryofthewatcher.weebly.com)

No matter how good of an actor you are, the audience can’t tell from the back of your head.



5. What comes after eight?


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As far as we’re concerned, five-six-seven-eight are the only numbers that are really necessary.



6. Original Broadway Cast Recording for the premiere, or the revival?


Whichever it is, you have OPINIONS.



7. You’re wearing all black for something other than a funeral.


Darling, I always wear black.

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And after staying in a windowless theater all day, the vampire effect is only enhanced.



8. But let’s be real—that utility belt sometimes makes you feel like Batman.


Gaff tape? Check. Sharpies? Check. Toolkit? Check. BRB, Gotham needs me.



9. Don’t even THINK of eating any kind of dairy during tech week.


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AKA, Lord, show me how to say no to this pizza.



10. Seize your napportunities.


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If there isn’t a spot in the dressing room, there’s usually some kind of couch backstage. Wake me when my scene’s up next?


11. Are you a musical person, or a straight play person?


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Or are you loyal to both?



12. You talk to yourself in public, constantly.


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Running lines, obviously. And the occasional internal monologue.



13. And you hum. Constantly.


Pinot Noir, Broadway Star! Get to Know the Theatre Folk Behind “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt”

(playbill.tumblr.com)

Your friends have probably threatened to kill you, unless…



14. Your friends all harmonize.


.

(broadwaybox.com)

Let’s be real, y’all KILL at karaoke.



15. You collect weird facts.


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You know exactly what kind of sleeves 18th century upper-class English women wore, how to build a fifteen-foot-tall plant puppet, and more about American history, pre-WWII Germany, pre-WWII Austria, and major American cities in the 1920s than anyone really needs to know.



16. Your body clock is messed up.


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You only really wake up at 6pm—that’s when the real work starts.



17. Your heroes are the opposite of unsung—but it doesn’t always feel like that.


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You obviously worship at the altar of Audra McDonald, so you wanna scream when someone says, 'Who?'



18. Anything goes at the cast party.


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SNL nailed it, tbh.



19. You hate drama, but you love drama.


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And we're not talkin' about the kind that happens onstage.



20. Your makeup game is on point.


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No matter the look, no matter the gender identity, your eyeliner game is unmatched.



21. You’re not afraid to go big.


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Once you’ve gone to Starbucks in your show makeup, big looks aren’t even an issue. And once you’ve tripped and knocked over half the chorus in the middle of the opening number in front of a full house, nothing can scare you. Seriously. Nothing.



22. Up is down and left is right and—


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There’s a method, we promise.


23. If you own the cast recording, you’ve cried at the end of it.


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Seriously, the opening notes of the overture is enough to set you off.



24. Opening night was the best thing that ever happened to you.


Galavant - part of Season 2 opening theme
“…Give in to the miracle that no one thought we get!
It’s a new season though it’s still not that long,
A new season with some slightly new shadings,
There’s still no reason why we bust into song,
You’ll know...

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Also, the craziest.



25. And closing night was the worst.


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It doesn’t matter if you’re literally going to get up and see the entire cast the next morning—it will never be the same.


26. You could fairly describe every show you’ve ever done as “literally traumatizing” and “gave me a reason to live” in the same breath.


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You have been changed… for good.


  • What are some of your favorite things about being a theater kid, past or present? Share in the comments below!

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